Hey guys,
I am so sorry that I haven't written recently. I have been busy with coming back home and jobs and just all these different hobbies. Today, I wanted to talk about love and how it comes at such weird times. The people that I've loved, I have never been looking, they've stumbled into my life and never left.
The best thing I can compare trying to find love to is trying to find the perfect sunset, the perfect cliff to look off of, to jump, to fall. You don't get to pick when you find it, but when you do, you know it's perfect and it may only last for a fleeting moment, but it's beautiful and real and you get to experience it. That's what finding love is like, not that you have love or that you own love, but that you get to experience love. It's like the feeling of falling, you can't control when you'll hit the ground but you can control how much you enjoy the experience. Sometimes, you never hit the ground, but sometimes the ground comes way too fast and you're left worse off than you were before. You're left wounded and you think to yourself how could this perfect cliff have hurt me like this. So you stop looking and when you look down enough, you miss so many sunsets, so many cliffs that you could've had. You miss life.
I don't say this to scare you, but as someone who's loved a lot, who has continuously tried to live and try new things, but that has also fallen short and been burnt out and been hurt by love and needed so much time to come back to normal, it can be easy to fall but not so easy to get back up. The people I've loved will always be a part of me, they'll always be in my heart and they've helped to shape me, but one thing that I'm trying to learn is that it's okay to let go. It's okay to let people live their lives and maybe knock at their door and ask them how it's going every now and then, but it's not okay to live in the past. To live in this place that doesn't exist anymore.
Love.
It's the one thing that connects us, the one thing that we can choose, but that we can't force. By that, I mean that we choose who we love and who we put our effort and time into, but we can't force someone to love us or to be with us. Love may start as a feeling, but if it stays that way and you don't actively choose to love someone, then that love won't last because people will disappoint you, they will annoy you, you may not like them at times, but you have to actively choose to love them all the time.
Signing off but talk to you guys next time, Alex Risdall :)
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